- Coming out: I'm a man
- May 1st, 2015
Hi everyone. Important announcement: I'm a man.
I've suffered from gender dysphoria my whole life, which is a fancy way of saying that being a woman is not for me. I'm what you'd call transgender, or a trans man. This has caused a fair bit of depression for a long time, but discovering and accepting the man I am has changed everything about how I look at life for the better.
It's both a big deal and not, because it affects me more than anyone. For everyone else it's mostly an administrative change. But I've made a handy FAQ!
Q. What's transgender?
A. Someone who's body is one gender, but their mind is another. In my case, a guy who happens to be born in a body with female parts. Perfectly normal healthy female body, but knowing in my heart and mind that I'm male. The opposite of trans is cis. A cis person has the same mental gender as physical.
Q. Are Jen and your family okay with this?
A. Yes, more than I could put into words. Their unquestioning support and love have been the best foundation for this journey a person could have.
Q. Wait, does this mean you're straight now?
A. Well, I'm a guy who is attracted to women. I don't think of my self as straight cos I'm not cis, I feel pretty queer. But eh, labels are labels.
Q. Are you gonna get any medical treatment?
A. I hope to start taking testosterone soon which will very slowly change my voice, give me some sweet facial hair and change the way my fat and muscles work.
Q. Are you going to grow a dick? How will you pee? Will you get your boobs removed?
A. Unless you're someone I already discuss my genitals with, it really isn't the place to ask.
Q. What changes?
A. I actually like myself! I'll dress different (although let's be honest, there's really not that much to change). I'll use the men's room. I won't spend weeks at a time wondering if it's better to just kill myself. I won't be able to play women's sports, but I'll still be involved in the Melbourne Uni Chargers on the sideline. I'm changing my name from Andrea to Andy, so just keep calling me Andy. From today onwards I get to publicly be a man and live out loud.
Q. What should I do?
A. Start to refer to me using male pronouns like he, him, his, etc. I won't be offended if you slip up, I promise. It's a hard habit to break. If you notice you used the wrong one, just correct yourself and move on. Any and all effort is appreciated. And just keep being a mate and treat me as a bro.
Q. What shouldn't I do?
A. Inform people who only know me as male that I'm transgender, or was born female. Unless they're going to see me naked or medically treat me, it's no one else's business.
Q. Are you happier?
A. Yes. So much. SO MUCH. This has been the most emotional and positive journey imaginable. It's not all easy, it's a more difficult way to live, but so much more worthwhile. And I want to stick around to see where it goes.
Feel free to PM me if you have questions, I know it raises a lot of curiosity. If you think something is maybe inappropriate, ask it anyway, you never know. I'll tell you if it's too much.
Anyway I love you all, cheers for reading.
PS this is copied and pasted from Facebook but i didn't want to write it out twice. There's a million more things to say which I'll probably put up here one day.